P.S. A Column On Things

Start of Mar. 17 Column. More or Less Continuous News Service since 1998

These Important Messages

About History...
“Republicans may be about to learn an unpleasant lesson: you can ban the teaching of history, but that won’t keep it from repeating.”
-- The Borowitz Report

 “It’s as if the Republicans are trying to destroy the federal government.“ Yes,  that is exactly what they are trying to do. Ever since Newt Gingrich said he wanted to make the government so small that “it could be drowned in a bathtub,” the number one priority of the Republican party has been destroy the US government. We, the people, have finally given them the power to do it. Most of “us“ are celebrating his moves. I’d be surprised if they continue to celebrate when Social Security (President Musk: Ponzi scheme) and Medicare are destroyed. When the checks stop coming, Will Hwmnbn finally  begin to lose support? That depends on what you think of the average intelligence of the American people. I’m thinking room temperature.

Things No One Will Ever Do Again: Court by Mail

I know courting is such an old-fashioned word, but back in the 70s, people got to know each other before they launched serious relationships. This was known as courting. It was usually done in person.

I’ve been a writer since I was 12, so it should be no surprise that writing letters was my favored means of courting. Every woman in my life has been the recipient of love letters, some more than others.

My first lover got 90 letters at Camp Lou Henry Hoover, where she was a counselor. Our relationship flowered.

My second was in Boston while I was in Portland, Ore. one summer. We exchanged one visit each, but in a time of expensive long-distance calls, it was frequent letters that kept us going.

My third only got two months worth, when she moved to San Francisco from Hartford, and I didn’t even send a letter a day.

Perhaps not surprisingly, my 45 years of wedded bliss came after eight months of daily letters. It might have seemed obsessive, but it deepened our love. All it took was 240 letters.

I don’t think 240 texts or emails would have the same effect. So, courting by mail is something no one will ever do again.

I wrote a little song about this: Long Distance Love.

One other note (talk about burying the lede): I've not made any real money, don't expect to, but my songs have been streamed an inexplicable  6,000 times on Spotify. That's a lot of joy spreading.

Paul Makes The Top 5

On This Top5 List of Trump Nominees, the item
*Marjorie Taylor Green, Head of Space Force’s Jewish Space Laser Division
 was mine.  Rejected Entries:
*Sean Hannity: Administrator of the Ass-kissing Administration
*Kamala Harris: Special Ambassador to Shithole Countries
*Gen. David Petraeus: Secretary of the Department of Losers and Suckers

Diplomatic Ways To Say Thanks For Dumb Gift. My winner: I’m going to adopt kids so I can use it.

Slicing the Baloney

My mentor Edwin Diamond told me, “Any story worth reporting is worth selling twice... or more.” He called that “slicing the baloney.” Many was the time in my journalism career when I sold a story (lightly rewritten) to two or three publications.

The best example was when I, as a reporter in the business department,  appointed myself the banking reporter of the Oregon Journal (the same way I appointed myself the wine reporter).

While working in the Bank of America public information department, I had gotten to know Geoff Brouillette, the San Francisco bureau chief of the American Banker daily newspaper. When I moved to the Journal, he would pass me story ideas. I would report them, run them in the Journal and then dispatch the result to him, as a side gig. A half century later, I don’t recall how I sent the stories (no fax or Internet in 1978), but he got the stories and I got paid.

Consider this a tip for any freelance writer: sell it twice.

(Thank you Brendan Leonard of Semi-Rad for reminding me of this with update 21 for Patreon supporters)

Meme O’ The Week: Marriage Advice

Thank you Fran Jones on LinkedIn

A technical glitch caused this to be posted out of order last week. I am repeating it because I now know for sure it is authentic!

What? The Internet Not Lying?

I have been asked about the provenance of the Marriage Advice item. Internet fakes are often oddly particular to make them seem true. So, I contacted the Pontypridd Museum in Wales, which wrote back, “The item itself is a postcard in our collection. It is currently not on display.”

Quote-O-Rama

I’m “Things are never as bad as we fear nor as good as we hope.”
--François Théodore Thistlethwaite
...
 “The answer to all question headlines is no.”
-- Ian Betteridge…
…
“Every choice you make makes you.”
--John C. Maxwell

Love The One You’re With

I have always loved this Stephen Stills song and always thought was about infidelity: “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” There are certainly some other interpretations, like “make the best of where you are,” but that seems a little hippy-dippy to me.

Apparently, someone somewhere said this about the song (I can’t find the reference). I guess they could be right: “Instead of constantly seeking a better partner or fantasizing about someone else, one should focus on appreciating and fully committing to the person they are currently in a relationship with.”

I note in passing: since I started writing lyrics two years ago, I pay more attention to the lyrics of others (most people only  hear the chorus). And I assume most are true (as are most of mine) which makes me happy sometimes deeply saddens me--oh God, that poor lyricist had to live through this.

Deterioration In One Word

Enshittification" — the gradual deterioration of a service or product — has been named the 2024 Word of the Year by Macquarie Dictionary.

From Wikipedia: Enshittification, also known as crapification and platform decay, is a pattern in which online products and services decline in quality. Initially, vendors create high-quality offerings to attract users, then they degrade those offerings to better serve business customers, and finally degrade their services to users and business customers to maximize profits for shareholders.  

End of Mar. 17 Column (No. 972)

Start of Mar. 10 Column. More or Less Continuous News Service since 1998

I hate AI but...

As mentioned before that if newspapers only printed what happened, instead of what they think will happen, they would much smaller.

The Google AI responded in an interesting way. It didn’t mention that papers would be smaller, but it was less insane than I have seen from other queries.

“If newspapers only printed what happened, without any interpretation, analysis, or opinion, they would likely be significantly less informative and potentially less engaging for readers, as much of the news value comes from journalists providing context and explaining the significance of events, not just stating basic facts.”

Farewell Dr. Lawrence E. Anderson

I was privileged recently to attend the life celebration for Dr. Lawrence Anderson, known to me as the founder (with his wife Jan) and long time conduction of the Danville Community Band (DCB), the largest brass band in the SF Bay Area.

He also served a turn as a music educator at U.C. Davis, leading its brass band and teaching. Many Aggies (some in their band uniforms from a half-century ago) attended (as did the large contingent of Aggies who play in the DCB). He also taught at Miramonte High, the alma mater of both of my daughters. My younger daughter was sorry to hear of his passing. She thought he must have been young because of his energy. He was 89.

 “I know three things for sure about Larry Anderson: he had a big heart, an excellent sense of humor and good judgment. He demonstrated his good heart when a group of us were thrown out of another nearby band. Larry said, ‘You don’t have to compete for your seat, just sit in it.’” We are all still with the band today, at our varying levels of talent.

“He had a sense of humor. He and I played in that other band. He had listened to me, for years, ribbing the conductor, the band and the music. He called and asked me to announce for the DCB starting with the first concert. ‘Bring it on,’ he said, making it clear he wanted the same irreverent shtick. Two decades at the lectern were ended last spring.

He had good judgment. He picked his wife Jan to cofound the band with him and to design the band’s logo. When he stepped down from the podium a few years ago, he had the excellent judgment to pick Dr. Robert Calonico as his successor.

A light has gone out in the world.

Cobol Humor and Y2K

 

Thank you LinkedIn.

I was still in tech journalism during the Y2K panic. One of the major sources of the panic was hundreds of millions of lines of Cobol code with two-digit year codes, meaning they would interpret Jan. 1, 2000 as Jan. 1, 1900.

No planes dropped out of the sky at the start of the new millennium, no ATMs stopped dispensing, no traffic control systems set all the lights green. Of course, none of those systems were based on Cobol, but tech journalists have never let facts stand in the way of a good panic that boosts circulation.

Many have called Y2K “fake news.” Nope. The panic, AKA “The Cobol Programmers Full Employment Act of 1999,” caused every firm with two dimes to rub together to deploy armies of the Cobol-savvy to comb through 30-year old software, looking for dates to fix. And, for the most part, they did it. And all that code became 31 years old, with no other changes.

End of Mar. 10 Column (No. 971)