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Top Five List

The best comedy writing takes place in teams. Take my word for it. (Digress Here.). The ultimate expression of this show business truism on the Internet can be found at the Top Five List website.

Caveat: I am one of the lucky handful of people who are contributors to the Top 5 list.

Here's how it works. Every day, hard-working Chris White, the master of the Top 5 list, sends out a topic. Somewhere between 50 and 100 contributors make three contributions each by deadline time. Chris separates the wheat from the chaff and prints the chaff (just kidding Chris...)

The result is some truly funny lists. I will reprint one here, one in which I "made" the list at No. 12. Of course, every contributor hopes and dreams of making number one, or of a "Hat Trick," when Chris accepts all three of your contributions. If you make the list often enough and high enough, you enter the Hall of Fame. Someday, someday...

September 14, 1998

The Top 13 Chapters In Ken Starr's "Clinton Report"

13> Chapter 7 -- "Lewinsky" Becomes a Verb

12> Chapter 51 -- A Few Other Things I Can't Prove but Wish were True, So I Leaked Them

11> Chapter 4 -- Pilferage of Pens, Post-Its, and Other Government Property by the First Family

10> Conclusion -- Why I, Kenneth Starr, Should Be Your New God
2> Appendix -- Links To Other Hot XXX Sites on the Internet

and Top5's Number 1 Chapter In Ken Starr's "Clinton Report"...

1> Chapter 8 -- $40 Million, Same As In Town

[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List
[email protected] ]
[ To forward or repost, please include this section. ]
[You like to receive credit for your work, and so do we.]

Selected from 81 submissions from 31 contributors.

Here's what one of my recent submissions looked like (and none of these made it. Think how good the winners were!):

Top 5 Changes in the new $20 bill
xxxx>Hold it up to the light you can see Jackson doing the Macarena
xxxx>Front: Andrew Jackson Back: Michael Jackson
xxxx>Write "Impeach Clinton" on the front and the words "I'll Drink To That" appear on the back

I submit a lot of "Macarena" topics, and an occasional "Lambada." They rarely make the list.

So go, have a look, and sign up to receive the Top5 daily. Soon, the list will be on a (low-cost) subscription basis, so you get the top5 for free, and you pay for the rest of the list!


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