Briefs: Bad News For SGI, Microsoft
After The Buyout

The Last Laugh

OK, let's see a show of hands. Is there anyone reading this who didn't know that it is illegal to tape record telephone conversations under some circumstances? I didn't think so. As it happens, this is an area where the states are allowed to make the laws. While it is perfectly legal to record a conversation in California with the consent of only one party, it is a felony to do so in Maryland unless both parties know the recording is being made.

As far as I know, there is a tiny bit of ambiguity when you cross state borders (a Californian calling a Marylander), but even when it isn't illegal, it is a sleazy tactic.

As it turns out, while ignorance of the law is generally no excuse, it is an excuse in Maryland when it comes to wiretapping. Regardless, Linda Tripp knew it was illegal to wiretap Monica Lewinsky. She had been told. There are witnesses. She knowingly broke the law. I broke out the champagne to celebrate when this sleaziest of "friends" was indicted recently in Maryland.

Kenneth "Torquemada" Starr, initiator of some of the most baseless and politically motivated prosecutions in American history has not weighed in yet on the subject of Tripp's indictment. Of course, he's already rewarded her betrayal of her friend with federal immunity, but his slimy deal doesn't bind Maryland prosecutors.

Among Starr's gaffes, of course, was the most baseless prosecution of the century, the Clinton impeachment. He acted as the extra-constitutional grand jury and prosecutor--his hand was up Henry Hyde's butt as surely as Frank Oz's hand is up Miss Piggie's. Were Starr to comment honestly, he would no doubt say, if he weren't the handmaiden of the Republican right--"the law is the law. This is a clear violation. It must be prosecuted." He proved to us that motivation doesn't count, so let's hoist him and his buddies on their own petard. I can't wait for the trial.

While we're on the subject of good news from the political world, let me dance a jig of joy at the latest Newt News. Old Newtie's been keeping a low profile, raking in the dough from the lecture circuit since he took the fall for the R's bonehead impeachment strategy (looking forward to those chickens coming home to roost). Word came last week that he's divorcing his second wife.

Now I wish ill of no man when it comes to marriage. I'm proud of my 20 years and hoping for 20 more. But Newt dumped his first wife in the ugliest possible way: cheated on her, served her divorce papers in the hospital while she was recovering from cancer and stiffed her on child support. All this happened before he was in the public eye, so a lot of people either haven't heard of it or don't believe it.

Well, character tells, and he's not exactly being a loving husband to his second wife. And this time, we're all watching. The statement from his office called it a mutual decision. The statement she made was "I'm sorry Newt decided he had to do this." It doesn't get much clearer than that. Hey, Newt: if she doesn't want a divorce, don't lie to us and say she does! But then the real difference between Newt and Bill is that when Bill lies, he gets caught.

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