Signs Your Team Won't Make It To The Superbowl

 

From Sept. 9, 1999:

12> Your quarterback gets sacked more often than a busy hooker.

11> Management's moving of the training camp to Lourdes should have been your first clue.

10> I don't care how much money they paid, it's just impossible to play serious football in Mary Kay Stadium!

9> The backfield refuses to practice on Tuesdays: "It's 'Will & Grace' night!!!"

8> Sportswriters compare your star running back to Sanders --*Colonel* Sanders.

7> New conditioning coach's warm-up drill: A brisk 15-minute Macarena.

6> Your team is now run by the Kansas Board of Education, and they've decided not to allow tackling to be taught.

5> Good news: Nobody tested positive!
Bad news: It was a playbook quiz.

4> Your fastest player's sprinting time is measured in fortnights.

3> "Now starting at running back for the Detroit Lions, number...ah, who gives a shit?"

2> Team refuses to stop holding hands -- even *after* they leave the huddle.


and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign Your Football Team Won't Get to the Super Bowl...


1> Even though the team shelled out $15 Million a season for "the greatest football player who's ever lived", this Pele guy can't catch worth a crap.


[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]

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Selected from 125 submissions from 46 contributors.
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Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 7