The Top 13 Differences if Animals Played Professional Sports

 

Monday August 16, I had the No. 1 item; I don't know why it too me so long to share this list.

13> Team of trainers required to get Charlie Centipede's ankles taped by game time.

12> Dennis Rodman FINALLY fits in.

11> Martina Hingis no longer the only bitch on the pro tennis tour.

10> Only jackasses allowed in professional wrestli... er, never mind.

9> New comedy bit: "What's on first?"

8> Fido's big "touchdown dance" consists of trying in vain to catch his tail.

7> Giraffe outfielders put a serious dent in Mark McGwire's home run production.

6> Mike Tyson put to sleep for biting.

5> No one has yet managed to tackle the team's new running back, Paul Porcupine.

4> Sports bras now available with 8 cups.

3> The Chicago Bears have to forfeit second half of the season when the entire team goes into hibernation.

2> Marge Schott? Still a cow.


and Topfive.com's Number 1 Difference if Animals Played Professional Sports...


1> Only one camera required to cover the hamster marathon.

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]

[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]

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Selected from 123 submissions from 48 contributors.

Today's Top 5 List authors include:
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Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 1 (7th #1)