Separated By A Common Language

Please not that I cannot verify whether this exchange is actually taken from the Far East Economic Review, as was claimed in the e-mail which brought it to me. Such attributions are often in error.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.....

Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"

RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"

RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"
G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An San tos?"
G: "What?"

RS:"San tos. July San tos?"
G: "I don't think so"

RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes 'means."

RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bother?"
G: "No..just put the bother on the side."

RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"
G: "Sorry?"

RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say"

RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
G : "You're welcome"