After the Wedding

The Plaint Of The Office Worker

[not exactly humor, but certainly light verse!]

by Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe

I counsel the excessed,
the returnee, and the "recycled,"
the 'silent 80 percent" who
type our letters and file papers.

I counsel the women office workers,
the Nine to Fivers,
who believe that
"a secretary's pad is to write in,
not spend the night in."

I counsel the amanuensis
who copies what another dictated:
gobbledygook, officialese, federalize,
and pentagonese.

I empathize with the movement
from Honey to Money
I empathize with the
"cute little chicks"
and the white collar worker:
a desk jockey.

I counsel the happy office people, too:
the Joy Pol! loi,
the G/G Friday--the Person Friday,
and the secretary drowning in the
typing pool.

I empathize with the recipient of
secretarial jokes:
"Today is Administrative Professionals Day,
Take yours to lunch--take mine, too.

I counsel those being replaced
by office robots (Robot Redford and Beeping Tom),
and devoted employees who say, in Latin,
"Id in machinam schidarum scindendarum
incedit" (It fell into the shredder).
I've seen the future...and it glows.

I counsel those who, when asked to get a
broker on the phone, say, "stock" or "pawn"?

I counsel the "Administrative Assistants"
in their office landscaped, partitioned,
non-windowed offices,
climbing the ladder s o s l o w l y.

Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is the author of a
book titled, "Are Yentas, Kibizers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction?
Yiddish Trivia."