Positivity Ratio
October 08, 2012
You've probably heard the concept that a
healthy relationship has more positive interactions than negative ones.
There are all kinds of proposed ratios based on all kinds of research,
but the one that comes out near the top of the Google search is 3 to 1.
There's another, longer-term way of expressing the idea that I heard
once from Garrison Keillor on his radio show. A relationship is like a
bank account. Positive experiences are deposits, negative experiences
are withdrawals. You always want to keep a healthy balance in the
account. About the only modification I would make (and Keillor was not
having a deep philosophical discussion, of course) is that this account
has negative interest. That is, the older an experience, the less value
it has. Fortunately, I have a positive balance with all the
people I love, and I intend to keep it that way