Political Briefs
Nature at Home

Clare Horner Aphorisms 2

As I noted last time, I admit Horner was a misogynist and a homophobe, although an apparently successful marriage slightly reduced the former. Don’t Trudge on the Fudge was written just before he died. As I expected, I found his form as an aphorist was good to the end.

 “You’ve passed all my tests,” she said. “Here I am.” “Sorry,” he replied, “but the woman you aren’t has already turned me off, so I’m not ready for the woman you are.”
---
Hysteria repeats itself
---
You may as well live with the facts; they’ll live with you.
---
Everybody dies, and everybody’s surprised.
---
Some things are so silly there is no room left for parody.
---
How terrible to fit anywhere.
---
Those who talk long, listen short.
---
(Perhaps old age is reached when a sigh of pleasure is replaced by a groan of relief)
---
The loneliness of superiority is worth it.
---
(Unjustified hope is about the saddest thing there is.)
---
Life is so sad it is a shame to pass up any chance to laugh.
---
(Most everything is the other way around.)
---
(I’m always ready when I need me.)
---
HORNER IN HAVEN
[This is a modified version of his previous parody of the Lord’s Prayer. The references are to Ashland, Oregon where he spent the last years of his life, and Venice, California, where he spent his youth]
Myself, who is artful in Ashland,
Spoken is my name.
I’m the king that comes
and I will be done
In Ashland
As it was in Venice.
I’ll give this day my garden surplus,
And be untempted by smokers’ lungs,
Though smoker’s lungs be tempted by me.
I’ll deliver myself
From What I see as spooky,
For my brain, energy and ideas are mine,
Till my arteries harden,
Ah, me.
---
I’m really marvelous. It’s a pleasure to be me.
---
People who are afraid of life, imitate it.
---
(It’s usually either too early to tell, or too late to matter.)

Comments

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been saved. Comments are moderated and will not appear until approved by the author. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Comments are moderated, and will not appear until the author has approved them.

Your Information

(Name and email address are required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)