Things You’ll Never See/Hear Again
November 13, 2022
(length warning) I was just saying “six of one, half a dozen of the other” (that is, these two things are one and the same) when I realized I belong to the last generation that will ever say that. I am not even sure the generations behind us know what a dozen is.
“A pint’s a pound the world around” will be useless to a generation raised on liters and kilograms. Almost as useless as cursive handwriting, which my daughters can read but don’t regularly write. My grandchildren probably won’t even be able to read it. I decided to type up all my journals from 1970-1977, on the grounds that otherwise, in a few years, they will be as indecipherable as hieroglyphics.
My daughters learned to read an analog clock (there’s a retronym for you), but they have never used the language of that form of time-telling. “It’s a quarter till,” I used to say to my girls, or “It’s half past.” “A quarter till what?” they asked. Neither owns a wristwatch (well OK, one has an IWatch).
They’ve seen dial telephones but never used one to make a call. Neither has a land line or subscribes to a newspaper.
Mental arithmetic? Dying out.
My own family has often accused me of having a great century-old vocabulary. I fear that’s true, but in for a penny, in for a pound. This is what happens when you make it to 70. Well, hubba-hubba. I was 13 before my dad taught me the rest of that: “Hubba-Hubba, ring-a-ding, baby you’ve got everything, woo-woo.”
Not to mention another phrase I learned from Dad: “You’re a swell flapper. What have you got under the flap?” Google comes up with no citations… except from now on, this sentence.
My mother used to say, “See you later alligator,” and I was an adult before I heard the other half, “In a while, crocodile.”
Right Column Redux: Paul's Lo-Cal Peanut Buttter Substitute
November 13, 2022
Paul's Lo-Cal Peanut Buttter Substitute
The column to the right of this blog contains permanent content, most of which has appeared at one time or another in the main body. I’ve decided to include a reminder.
This and That
November 13, 2022
The best description of Paul Schindler, Journalist
Thank you to my former editor Joe Brancatelli for reminding me of what I told all my editors. A.J. Liebling said it first,.. but it’s also true of me: "I write faster than anyone who writes better, and I write better than anyone who writes faster."
…
My Mother Was A Chemist
A half century ago, I was taught this doggerel. I can’t find a good Internet citation of this version, but one thing’s for sure: I’ve never forgotten the chemical formula for sulfuric acid.
My mother she was a chemist,
A chemist she is no more.
For what she thought was H₂O was H₂SO₄
…
Amazing Turtle Video
Animals helping each other continues to amaze me.
Humor: Meme-o-Rama
November 13, 2022
More Humor: World Almanac as religious book
November 13, 2022
During my 30 years as a journalist, I bought a copy of the World Almanac every year and saved all the old ones until the Internet made them obsolete. So I enjoyed this excerpt from Earth by the Daily Show with Jon Stewart that appeared in my UPI chat: a list of religious books, New Testament, Old Testament, The Koran and, Ready? The 2010 World Almanac.
Venerated by: People who still hadn't discovered the Internet.
Who "Wrote" It: A staff of Ph.D.s in New York City,
Who Actually Wrote It: an intern with last year's almanac and access to Wikipedia.
Main Theme: humanity's compulsive need to catalogue.
Questionable Claim: somebody somewhere cares when Vivian Vance was born.
Okay to Burn? Knock yourself out.
Survey: Design of this Blog
November 13, 2022
Google persistently tells me this blog is not mobile-friendly. I find it friendly enough if I turn my phone sideways. But I’ve decided to experiment with a phone-friendly version.
Here is the test blog. Please have a look. You’ll help me decide if you answer this two-question survey
End of November 14 Column (No. 853)
November 13, 2022
Start of November 7 Column
November 06, 2022
Thank God And Guru: One Charging Cable To Rule Them All
November 06, 2022
The EU will require USB-C charging for mobile devices by the end of 2024
One cable type for everything. A single standard for all power cables, meaning interchangeable and less expensive chargers, except for devices like the Apple iWatch which cannot be charged with a cable).
Let me translate that for you: No More Lightning Connectors! It seems unlikely that Apple will make separate European versions of everything, or that it will give up the European Market. For me, it means no longer taking four kinds of cables with me on vacation, “Just In Case.”
I admit it would be nice if all USB connectors were reversible, like the Lightning connector. Maybe vendors could paint one side black, just so we wouldn’t have to toss a coin every time we plug something in.
I am old enough to remember the Wild West days of DOS before the IBM PC. A dozen serial connectors (RS-232 anyone?) and a dozen parallel connectors (Centronics Parallel anyone?). Standards are good. They lower costs and make life easier for consumers. What’s not to like?
I love quoting my good friend, one of the fathers of the PC, George Morrow. On the subject of standards, he was both flippant and serious.
Flippant: “I believe in standards. Everyone should have them.”
Serious: “It is the user's responsibility to promote standards. Companies that try to set their own standards should not be rewarded by getting the users' dollars.”
When serious, he was not only right, he placed the responsibility where it belongs: on us, the users.
Workers of the World Unite! You have nothing to loses but your chains―comprised of random charger cables. God Bless The EU!