My Grandson
He asked me what happens if you use too much toilet paper. At his age, the problem is usually too little. I explained it was good to do the job, but bad to waste. In any case, he surprised my by saying, “We don’t want to waste trees.” Wow, kids learn things early these days.
(LENGTH WARNING)
Inspired by an author whose work I admire, I ask God (as in Fiddler), “Would it spoil some vast eternal plan,” were I to be given a chance to once more experience some people and places long gone out of my life? Especially if I could take my current 70 years of memories with me.
Composing this list makes me thank God, again, (regardless of whether he grants me this boon) that so many people from my past are still alive, meaning our stories are not done.
Nana (Mom’s mom, Fredora Patricia “Pat” Van Ronk) worked at the grill at Columbia Bowl, just down 42nd Avenue from my house. I often went there after school with my friend Steve Teeter during the 64-65 school year, before he moved to Cupertino.
One day, we ordered French fries. They were already amply salted, but I looked around for more. I didn’t see a salt shaker, but I saw a large round bottle with a flap on top. I said to Steve, “What an odd salt shaker.”
Apparently, I’d either never seen a diner sugar dispenser, or was confused. In any case, I covered my fries with sugar just as Nana came out of the kitchen. She laughed and laughed. I ate the fries anyway.
I am unsure that everything happens for a reason, but I am sure that some events teach important and necessary lessons.
Why did I skip most of my classes at MIT? The obvious answer is that I was lazy. The less obvious answer is that I understood quickly my life, unlike the university, would not be polarized around science and technology, but rather words. It may also have happened to teach me that good enough is good enough. That prevented a lifetime of striving to overachieve with all its concomitant problems.
It shouldn’t have surprised me that my friend Lee Rothrock, of Northeast Portland, Oregon, who died in 1964 at the age of 12, should have left no footprint on the Internet. Not even an obituary. I was thinking of him because an author I respect has written that losing his brother in their youth has always made him feel as though he were living life for both of them.
To paraphrase Love Story, “What can you say about a twelve-year-old boy who died? That he was handsome. And brilliant. That he loved the Beatles.”
Live Action Little Mermaid
Thoroughly enjoyable top to bottom, but too violent for any children younger than 12. New lyrics by Lin-Manuel Miranda. He’s Everywhere!
Dr. Pepper and Vodka
The vile mixed drink, Dr. Pepper and vodka, mentioned here recently as my college favorite, (I basically don’t drink anymore) has a name: a Vodka Pepper. Boy, someone must have worked hard to dream that up.
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Bob Bitner Obit/Adjective Order
DJ Bob Bitner (you may remember him from WCAS, Cambridge) has died. Tip of the PSACOT hat to Daniel Dern. Also from Daniel, a followup to last week’s discussion of adjective order: Contextual Determinants of Adjective Order : Beyond Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini. (downloads a PDF)
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All Things Being Equal…
I don’t know if it was one or more professors, but somehow at MIT I learned: “All things being equal, which, of course, they never are…” The Internet’s sole citation is Vincent Canby’s New York Times 1970 review of Tora, Tora, Tora.
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Nailed it: Unsubscribing
Pearls Before Swine cartoonist Stephan Pastis has figured out how to get off email lists.
The column to the right on this blog contains permanent content, most of which has appeared at one time or another in the main body. I’ve decided to include a reminder.
My Reading List
It runs down the right hand side of the page, most recent books first.