Things No One Will Ever Do Again: Set Type (1)
Start of April 8 Column. More or Less Continuous News Service since 1998

About Women 2: Why I Listen To The Women In My Life

(length warning) Starting with my mother, and moving through several of my lovers (you know who you are) and my wife, and even my daughters, I have found it best to follow the instructions and advice of women. Sometimes I fail, sometimes I succeed, but I always try. Frankly, they usually offer better advice.

Turns out I have mused on this subject before back in 2020. I didn’t remember it, but ran across it looking for something else.

Phil Proctor (he of the Firesign Theater) writes a monthly newsletter, Planet Proctor. In it, he offered this quotation:

Women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men. They are far superior and always have been. Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she will give you a baby. If you give her a house, she will give you a home. If you give her groceries, she will give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she will give you her heart. She multiples and enlarges whatever is given to her. So if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!

―William Golding, British novelist and playwright

As I was having my hair and beard colored recently, I noted another male customer’s interesting hat, and said, “How does your wife feel about that.” He said he didn’t care. My hairdresser, who has known  me for 20 years, said “Paul would care. He is a husband who listens to his wife.” Always have. Always will. I’ve been called a wimp, but if that’s what a wimp does, I accept the designation with pride.

This just in: my daughter Rae mentioned a quotation from a newsletter: “The fact that artificial intelligence mastered confidence before accuracy is the surest sign yet that it was designed by men.”

Clark Smith points out that in French the word "problem" is male and the word "solution" is female. Don’t bother writing; I know foreign noun genders are random. After all, in German, "young girl" is neuter, "queen" is masculine, and "door" is female. Despite that this aperçus   is funny because it is true.

And it turns out Mattel has some public spirit on an important issue they helped exacerbate: The Barbie Dream Gap Project. I did my bit years ago, awarding MIT “best girl scientist” trophies in local middle schools.


Robert E. Malchman

I'm not sure I want to adopt insights into the human psyche from the guy who wrote Lord of the Flies.

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