Public Speaking 2 / What A Junior Sees A Senior As

I often find myself wishing that this or that piece of paper had not slipped through my fingers. Twenty years ago, when my mother finally made me clear out my childhood bedroom, I ran across the script for What A Junior Sees A Senior As. I then lost it.

While I still had it, it seemed to me as funny as the day I delivered it a quarter century earlier during an entertainment assembly at Benson High in Portland. There were, however, members of the audience who were not amused. And some backstage.

In my mind it was innocuous juvenile humor. But the stage crew, the Benson Auditorium Technical Staff (BATS) was mostly seniors, and took offense.

So, in front of 1,000 of my fellow students, the BATS dispatched Art McDonald (a friend/enemy of mine) to wrestle me off the stage. The audience roared, thinking it was a setup. I resisted because I wasn’t done yet, and resented the interruption. Mr. Tripplett, the speech teacher who anointed student announcers, was baffled and miffed. I was finally dragged from the stage, and never spoke to Art again.

I have since gone on to three decades of announcing band concerts, a gig that those of you who have been paying attention will realize just ended. I wouldn’t mind another round of public announcing. Two-thirds of Americans say their greatest fear is public speaking. Not a problem I’ve ever had.