Right Column Redux: Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Things No One Will Ever Do Again: Set Type (1)

Squirrel Swirl/Bearly audible

A half-century ago, I had the privilege of briefly collaborating with one of the most brilliant creators I have ever met, Michael Wildermuth. It was his short story I adapted into the musical tragedy, Sam Patch. I was thinking of a song parody of his, for a “product” called Squirrel Swirl Ice Cream, made by the same company that made Bearly Audible, the ice cream for the deaf, with a chunk of bear in every bite. Here it is, to the tune of Circle Game:

Yesterday a squirrel came out to wonder
What the factory in the valley's s 'posed to do.
Too close to the factory he did wander
And now the Captain's bringing him to you.

And the swirler it goes 'round and 'round
And Sammy Squirrel goes up and down.
He's captured in a carousel of cream.
He can't return, he can only look
Behind to where he's been
And go 'round and 'round and 'round making squirrel ice cream.

Squirrel Swirl, I'm game

His other “products” included Buffalo Chips, Sheep Dip, Traffic Jam, Rabbit Ripple (with a chewy chunk of rabbit in every bite) and "Ammonia Bacon Ice Cream - Smells like ammonia, tastes like bacon; top it off with a little Liquid Chicken and you'll have an ice cream treat you won't forget!"


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