Drinking Songs Bowdlerized and Untaught

My mom treated my brother and I like adults, which is why when I was 10 and he was 7 and she was in college, she taught us two drinking songs.

O, it’s beer, beer, beer
That makes you want to cheer
On the farm, on the farm!
It’s beer, beer, beer,
That makes you want to cheer
On the Leland Stanford Junior Varsity Farm!
My eyes are dim.
I cannot see.
I have not brought my specs with me.
I have – hey! – not – ho!
Brought my specs with me.

I taught the second half to my grandson, Age 5. Then I tried to sneak in the first part. “Oh it’s Cats, Cats, Cats that make you want to chat.” He has no idea what the Leland Stanford Junior Varsity Farm is, but his dad wouldn’t mind if he goes there. I’m, unsurprisingly, pulling for MIT.
We came up with a half dozen couplets, each as good as whiskey/frisky, vodka/oughta, and of course the cappers, cold roast duck/crumpet and split pea soup/cracker. See what they did there?
I have yet to teach him mom’s other favorite (I only remember this part):

Beer Beer Beer for old Benson High
You bring the whiskey, I'll bring the Rye.
Send the Freshmen out for gin,
Don’t let a sober sophomore in.
We never stagger, we never fall,
We sober up on wood alcohol…

No wonder I drank Dr. Pepper and vodka in college.