P.S. A Column On Things

Start of August 26 Column. More or Less Continuous News Service since 1998

Four-Way Tie on Gates and Allen

With regard to last week’s meme, I offered a tip of the PSACOT hat to the first person spotting the error in my Microsoft profile from 1980. It was a four-way tie between four friends from MIT: three The Tech colleagues and one WTBS pal. In alphabetical order, Beth Karpf, you get a tip of the hat. Harrison Klein, you get a tip of the hat. David Tenenbaum, you get a tip of the hat. Neal Vitale, you get a tip of the hat. These are four friends who read the column very soon after it is posted.

And for those of you who didn’t spot it, the error was that the caption flipped the IDs for Gates and Allen. I wrote the caption. Headquarters might have flipped the picture during the printing process. I never heard from Gates or Allen, but I know for certain they saw it. In fairness to me, no one knew what they looked like at that point.

Grandkids: Granddaughter: Singing

She is developing so quickly: she can sing Twinkle Twinkle and The Itsy Bitsy Spider. Her brother prefers Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat,” first sung by Lewis Carroll’s Mad Hatter.

Letter/Email of Thanks

I know of no one who doesn’t enjoy being thanked. If you’ve never written one of these, I suggest now is the time.

Mine went something like this:

“I found myself thinking of you. You streaked across my life like a comet, with a tail that sprinkled mitzvahs upon me. I want to thank you for a few of them:”

Be specific. List the ways the recipient blessed (or is still blessing) your life. Be as brief as you can.

Write it today.

Some good points to make (only if true)

Thanks for:

• Your friendship and good company.
• The time I was in need and you generously helped.
• The car you loaned me for a trip to Yosemite.
• The fun we had.
• That clever thing you did.

(ONCE AGAIN: ONLY IF TRUE) I suspect your effect on everyone in your life is similar; never doubt the world has been vastly improved by your presence.

Ground Game/Wishcasting

I may be wishcasting (wishing combined with forecasting) but I see trouble ahead for “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”

Reportedly, he is putting much more money into advertising than into his ground game. That reminds me of a story and the story (as always) is about me

"He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" may be surprised at how ineffective advertising is versus pressing the flesh, based on my own experience!

I once conducted a wholesale campaign (Wholesale vs. Retail Politics: UMOC Edition, more details and pictures) and discovered that personal contact rules, advertising drools.

HWMNBN may soon make the same discovery, regardless of whether anyone throws a shaving cream pie in his face like they did me.

Humor: Shaggy Dog Joke Academic Joke

A student comes to a young professor's office hours.

She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. “I would do anything to pass this exam.”

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, “I would do...anything.’

He returns her gaze. “Anything?"

“Anything.”

His voice softens. “Anything??”

“Absolutely anything.”

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"

Advertising Advice

This Is What You Get When You Fire Half Your Staff

Shame must be a foreign concept to the modern newspaper staff. From the Bay Area News Group, a wholly owned subsidiary of vulture capitalists:

Northwest of what?

The kicker is the line above the headline. The decks are the lines below. Those words are supposed do be replaced with actual content. “More Mush From The Wimp.”

And from CNN:

How much longer before on-line headlines become incomprehensible? Moved from where?

 

This and That

When You Sing
Folk singer Tom Rush says, “Audiences prefer connection to perfection.” Makes me feel better about cracking up while singing If Offered A Choice with an 80-piece brass band behind me and 400 people in front of me.
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Another Harvard Joke
Just when you think you’ve heard them all… Harvard Frosh: “Where is the library at?” Senior: “At Harvard we don’t end sentences with prepositions.” Frosh: “Where is the library at, asshole?”
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Winston Freer Puzzle Trick
YouTube figured I’d be interested in the magic trick known as the Missing square puzzle.  It was right. As with most magic tricks, I was consumed with a desire to know how it works: Missing Square Puzzle - HOW DOES THIS WORK?

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UPI Hire/AP Wealth
To my astonishment, there are wire service stories I have never told in public… until now. UPI Hire/AP Wealth

End of August 26 Column (No. 944)