Transactional Relationships

Donald Trump’s relationships are purely transactional. Many people’s are, even my mentor Edwin Diamond. As I understand it, that means your relationships are strictly based on utility. If you’re no longer useful, you’re no longer a friend/lover.

I have fallen into that transactional pattern from time to time, in the sense that I fear I am on the receiving end: I worry a relationship is over if I’m no longer useful.

But it’s only in my mind, not that of my friend or partner. Maybe it’s a matter of low self-esteem, imposter syndrome, the idea that “no one will ever love me again.” But I don’t enter/stay in transactional relations, and I need to remember that.

Comments

[Clark Smith]

I'm a member of a monthly Zoom chat at my church called the Doubters Club. Last month, we tackled the nature of prayer, concluding that most Christians have a transactional relationship with God, like He/She is some kind of celestial vending machine handing out favors to the devout. In The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight, the Don goes for a walk in the priory garden with his priest. He puts his arm around the cleric and whispers, "Father, I want you to say a prayer for me. I want you to pray to God that all the people that hate me get cancer."
When bad things happen to good people, these folks tend to loose their faith. If God is all-powerful, how can these things happen?
Here's my take. I know that God loves me, just like my Mom loved me, and yours, too. That sort of unconditional relationship transcends transaction. It's not earned. It just is.

[pschindler]

Thank you. Lovely comment

Paul Schindler

[Robert E. Malchman]

Clark, if your Mom could wave her arms and cure you of cancer or some other fatal disease, do you think she would hesitate for a second? That's the difference between Mom and God. God, assuming he/she/it/they exist, doesn't give a shit about you.

As for transactional, is there anything more transactional than the Christian God? Yeah, you have free will. But to do what? Decide whether to have Cornflakes or Cap'n Crunch for breakfast? That's not interesting. The only interesting exercise of free will is to chose to obey God's laws or not. Oh, and you either obey those laws (including actual worship!), or spend eternity in torment. What kind of narcissistic sociopath demands that? "Dat's a nice liddle soul you got dere, Mistah. Be a shame if sumptin' bad happened to it . . . ." Yep, God the Father is also the Godfather.