Humor: Wishes Granted
June 15, 2025
(Woof Woof... there’s a hairy dog in the room. A Tip of the PSACOT Hat to Clark Smith)
An 84-year-old man is having a drink in Harpoon Harry's.
Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away.
The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her.
After a short while, the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.
Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone: "I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want $100, and there's another condition."'
Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is.
“You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman.
He whips out his wallet and puts $100 dollars into her hand...
He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly: “Paint my house.”
There are a lot of good genie/three wishes jokes, such as:
An advertising art director, copy writer, and account exec are going out to lunch. They pass a park bench that has an old-timey oil lamp on it. The copy writer says, "Hey, look at that. It's like something out of Arabian Nights. Wouldn't it be wild if rubbing produced a genie!"
"Let's try it," says the art director, who picks up the lamp and rubs it. Suddenly, dark smoke emerges. The art director tosses the lamp back on the bench, but in two seconds, a genie in classic Middle Eastern garb materializes. "I am the Genie of the Lamp," he intones. "You have liberated me, and in reward, I will grant each one of you a wish."
"That's crazy," says the account exec.
The art director says, "I always wanted to live in Italy and paint beautiful landscapes and portraits that would hang in museums all over the world."
The genie says, "Your wish is my command," and poof, the art director disappears.
"Where'd he go?" demands the account exec.
"He is in Italy, living in a villa, painting beautiful pictures," says the genie.
"My turn," shouts the copy writer, shaking with excitement. "I always wanted to write the Great American Novel. I wish I had a mountain house in New England overlooking a lake where I could write novels that touch and move readers worldwide."
The genie says, "Your wish is my command," and poof, the copy writer also disappears. The genie turns to the account exec and asks, "What is your wish?"
"I want those two assholes back in the office right after lunch."
Posted by: Robert E. Malchman | June 17, 2025 at 10:02 AM