P.S. A Column On Things

We Won! America Won

It doesn't get much sweeter. The American people have spoken, and I couldn't be happier with what they had to say. You see, I am a Yellow Dog Democrat. That means if the Democrats nominated a yellow dog, I'd still vote for it. I worked for Bobby Kennedy and Wayne Morse when I was still in high school. I voted for Carter and Dukakis. So you can imagine how good I felt on election night. As a resident of California, I am thrilled that I'll have Barbara Boxer in the U.S. Senate and Gray Davis in Sacramento. It really is morning in America this time. It appears even the Republicans are getting the message. Wanna place any bets on impeachment now?

By the way, my mother, one of the most astute political observers I know, believes the GOP lost its way when it decided to listen to the media instead of the people. "Now maybe you'll listen to the people" she concludes.

I write this column gradually, all week, a little each day after work. Newt Gingrich's resignation broke on Friday when it was almost done. I will probably have more to say next week and in future weeks. I am not saddened by his departure. In fact, I am rather cheered by it. To use his own words, I always thought Newt was "bizarre" and "obscene." My jollity stems from the fact that I am morally certain the Republicans can do worse. And will.

General News

I'm plumb out of passion this week, but I think I'd like to say just a few words on a few subjects?

• What is it about John Glenn's John Glenn's flight on the shuttle that is putting a burr into some people's britches? Of course it is all about publicity. The American people won't support NASA unless they are cajoled into it. Kennedy succeeded with the Man on the Moon challenge. Reagan failed with the International Space Station Challenge. Clinton, merely an observer, may luck out once again if this burst of well-earned publicity gets the space station and Mars mission back on track. We need to be in space. It is a scandal that we last went to the moon in 1972 and haven't been back. What if the Spaniards had only visited California a half-dozen times, then never returned?
• I hate to be an I-Told-You-So, but notice that Bill Clinton's impeachment dropped out of site as soon as the house finished its disgraceful vote to railroad the president in a kangaroo court--I'm sorry, I mean investigate him in the judiciary committee. You heard it here last: Tuesday's election is a referendum on bill Clinton's
• Last time, I just knew the FiresignTheater had a new CD. I have since obtained my copy of it. Admittedly, it wasn't handed to me by a member of the troupe, which is how Reid Ashe got his copy. Mine just came by UPS from CDNOW. Give Me Immortality or Give Me Death is hysterical. I hope it marks the comeback for the boys that the didn't get with their funny Three Faces of Al. They're all in great form, the writing is top notch (I nearly wet my pants during the Onan Winkydink sketch--anyone seen a copy of the international best-selling self-help book Sex with My Hat?) the performances are excellent, and we even get to hear Ralph Spoilsport again. Run, don't walk, to your website or record store and get this CD! 

General News

This week, my general news subject is the drive to impeach the president. I have a very strong opinion on the subject, and since no one from Gallup has ever called, I'll share them with you.

Clinton lied. All presidents lie. Clinton lied under oath (That is not perjury, by the way, ask any attorney. Perjury is illegal only if it is material).

What he did was stupid and wrong. It was not a felony. Even it was a felony, as constitutional scholars say, not all felonies are impeachable and not all impeachable offenses are felonies.

Assume every word of the Starr report is gospel (I doubt it). Clinton's behavior doesn't rise to the level of an impeachable offense. If you can't tell the difference between this and Watergate, or for that matter, between this and Iran-Contra--a truly impeachable offense--I pity you.

(By the way, I have especially enjoyed the several columnists, including one in a recent New Yorker, who have recently suggested that Starr's tactics smack of McCarthyism--the criminalization of non-criminal acts. McCarthy did it by calling people before Congress and asking them about their Communist affiliations. Having Communist affiliations wasn't illegal. Not telling anyone about them was not illegal. Refusing to testify about them before Congress was illegal. Thus, a legal act criminalized. Clinton did nothing illegal until Star, in collusion with his friends the attorneys in the Paula Jones case, conspired to entrap Clinton).

The impeachment process is, to borrow Clarence Thomas' phrase, a high-tech lynching. It is the GOP trying to invalidate the results of two elections they didn't like.

If you want a parliamentary system in this country, fine. Come out and ask for one. Don't try to create one via this backdoor methodology.

I am ashamed to admit I live in the district of a rogue Democrat, Ellen Tauscher, who voted for the impeachment. I'll still vote for her; she may come to her senses and on her worst days she's better than the mutton-head the R's are running against her. She had to vote for impeachment; I live in a suburban district that normally votes Republican. Even as a yellow-dog democrat, I'll have to hold my nose this year on Election Day.