Humorish: I’m Not A Doctor

As always, the best humor in the Internet is Top5.

I frequently use a variation of the trope “I’m not a doctor, but I do play one on television.” Mine is, “I’m not a computer expert, but I did play one on television,” for a decade on the PBS Show Computer Chronicles.

In an effort to discover the etymology of the phrase I discovered a roaring controversy… well OK, a whispering one.

Here is the official version, but let me note that I am calling it false, without having the truth. I just know the trope was around before 1971, when my WTBS colleagues created a commercial for Damitall which began, “I’d not a doctor, but I do play one on television, and I’m being paid to ask you this important question…” Most of the humor in the show was borrowed and ancient, so I figure the trope was around in the 1960s.

Humor: Too Dumb?

Long, but worth it. There are several variations on this one (and don't you believe for a minute that this is real), but this is one of the funniest ones I've seen in a while.)

(as true now as when I first posted it in 2000)

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. Now I know why they record these conversations!

Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Support: "What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Support: "Went away?"
"They disappeared."
Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Support: "Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Support: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
 Support: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"

Read more of this amusing exchange.

Humor:  12 Commandments For Seniors

  1. Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.
  2. “In Style” are the clothes that still fit.
  3. You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop making you mad.
  4. Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
  5. The biggest lie you tell yourself is,  “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”
  6. “On time” is when you get there.
  7. Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.
  8. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
  9. Lately, you’ve noticed people your age are so much older than you.
  10. Growing old should have taken longer.
  11. Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn’t shut you up.
  12. You still haven’t learned to act your age, and hope you never will.

Humor: Climate Change Haikus

I made the Top 5 List with this one:

Pacific Northwest
Has a sudden dearth of ducks.
Crocodiles (changed to iguanas by the editor)? Common.

Here are my losers:

Hot hot hot hot hot
Is said to be new normal
Christmas sweaters? No

Move to Canada?
Now looks better than ever;
Elk all moving south.

Snowbirds staying home.
Florida losing taxes
Sees fewer deaths