I made the “B” list (second day). While a perfectly amusing Top5 list, Signs Someone Has Too Much Money has only one of these three really funny items:
As always, the best humor in the Internet is Top5.
I frequently use a variation of the trope “I’m not a doctor, but I do play one on television.” Mine is, “I’m not a computer expert, but I did play one on television,” for a decade on the PBS Show Computer Chronicles.
In an effort to discover the etymology of the phrase I discovered a roaring controversy… well OK, a whispering one.
Here is the official version, but let me note that I am calling it false, without having the truth. I just know the trope was around before 1971, when my WTBS colleagues created a commercial for Damitall which began, “I’d not a doctor, but I do play one on television, and I’m being paid to ask you this important question…” Most of the humor in the show was borrowed and ancient, so I figure the trope was around in the 1960s.
Long, but worth it. There are several variations on this one (and don't you believe for a minute that this is real), but this is one of the funniest ones I've seen in a while.)
(as true now as when I first posted it in 2000)
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. Now I know why they record these conversations!
Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Support: "What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Support: "Went away?"
"They disappeared."
Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
Support: "Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Support: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
Support: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
I DIDN’T make the Top 5. Burn in the USA was the winner; my three excellent submissions (especially the last one) were cruelly cut. Well, they say showbiz is a bitch goddess.
When you're hot you're hot, when you're not your delusional.
You are my sunshine so set already.
I want to hold your fan.
I am sitting here trying to be serious, while Daniel Dern is having fun:
Reduced Budgets Impacting Upcoming TV/Video Seasons and Projects
Some examples:
Star Trek: Mildly Different Worlds
I made the Top 5 List with this one:
Pacific Northwest
Has a sudden dearth of ducks.
Crocodiles (changed to iguanas by the editor)? Common.
Here are my losers:
Hot hot hot hot hot
Is said to be new normal
Christmas sweaters? No
Move to Canada?
Now looks better than ever;
Elk all moving south.
Snowbirds staying home.
Florida losing taxes
Sees fewer deaths