Humor:  12 Commandments For Seniors

  1. Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.
  2. “In Style” are the clothes that still fit.
  3. You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop making you mad.
  4. Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
  5. The biggest lie you tell yourself is,  “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”
  6. “On time” is when you get there.
  7. Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.
  8. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
  9. Lately, you’ve noticed people your age are so much older than you.
  10. Growing old should have taken longer.
  11. Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn’t shut you up.
  12. You still haven’t learned to act your age, and hope you never will.

Humor: Climate Change Haikus

I made the Top 5 List with this one:

Pacific Northwest
Has a sudden dearth of ducks.
Crocodiles (changed to iguanas by the editor)? Common.

Here are my losers:

Hot hot hot hot hot
Is said to be new normal
Christmas sweaters? No

Move to Canada?
Now looks better than ever;
Elk all moving south.

Snowbirds staying home.
Florida losing taxes
Sees fewer deaths

Right Column Redux: Paul on the Top 5 List

The column to the right on this blog contains permanent content, most of which has appeared at one time or another in the main body. I’ve decided to include a reminder.

It has been reborn as Top5!

Humor: Heaven and Hell In Europe

Heaven in Europe is where
    the English are the policemen
    the French are the cooks
    the Germans are the mechanics
    the Italians are the lovers
    and the Swiss organize everything

Hell in Europe is where
    the Germans are the policemen
    the English are the cooks
    the French are the mechanics
    the Swiss are the lovers
    and the Italians organize everything

(Yes, I’m half Swiss, but I’m also a quarter Irish: if an Irishman can’t punch it or drink it, he’s not interested in it)