By Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
Maureen Dowd (“Crushed Dream Factory”), wrote about the grim 2021 Oscars: “In this grim Oscar season, it’s pathetic that the show’s producer had to issue a memorandum to participants reminding them to dress up. No pajamas or sweatshirts, please.”
Laura Dern wore the feathery-est white skirt we ever saw. Some say it looks like an expensive bath rug. Reese Witherspoon wore a red dress with a menswear-style belt.
Shown below are some of the funniest dress terms from today and yesterday.
BARFLY APPAREL: Clothing suitable for wearing at cocktail parties.
BILL BLAHS: That awful feeling that you spent too much for designer clothes. (Judy Dillon)
BLACK TIE: One unmistakable sign of a higher civilization. The others are dead-bolt lock and pourable mustard. (R. W. Jackson)
BOYFRIEND STYLE: Borrowed from a boyfriend. Clothing style belonging to males adapted to suit females; e.g. Boyfriend jeans.
BUNIONETTE: Any young professional woman in a business suit. (Rich Hall Sniglet)
CINEMODE: A fashion with origin in the movies.
CLAM SUIT: Jackie Gleason’s term for not just any ill-fitting suit, but the slouchiest MOAX suit known to man or beast. (“The Honeymooners”)
BROOKLYN FORMAL/hipster formal: Men and women in retro suits or accessories such as braces or suspenders, bowties and shawls. (Event MB Studio team)
BROOKS-BROS. -ophobia: The fear that the floppy tie you’re wearing make you look more like Soupy Sales than Smith Barney. (Mollie Fermaglich’s Corporophobias)
DRASUAL: Clothing appropriate to occasions that are neither dressy nor casual. (Christina Jones)
ESSEX GIRL: Flashy suburbanites with more money than taste.
FAPITZ’D: Yiddish for “dressed up.”
FEUILLETON: Ubiquitous retailer of Italian paper clothing. (Anon.)
FREUDIAN SLIPPERS: Bedroom slippers from Freud Toy, Inc., NY; available in 4 sizes: ID, Ego, Superego and Egomaniac.
GAPOSIS: A blouse one size too small, that puckers when buttoned. (Lillian Tudiver)
GAPPERS: People who work at the Gap.
GARMITES: Those items of clothing that fit perfectly in the store, but somehow shrink on the way home. (Rich Hall & Friends)
GRUNGE WEAR: Clothes from the Salvation Army
HAND-ME-UP: n. A used object, especially an article of clothing, passed from a younger person to an older person.
HIGH TEX: Latest in cowboy boots, hats, industrial lariats. (Sheri Lynn Behr)
INVESTITURE: Ceremony in which a two-piece suit becomes a three-piece suit. (Anon.)
JEAN DE FLORETTE: Paisley dungarees. (Lisa Brickey)
KRAMER SHIRT: Beatnik-style, short-sleeved shirt (from Kramer, the frantic neighbor on “Seinfeld”)
LEOTARD: n. An exercise costume worn by those not in need of exercise. (R. W. Jackson)
MALL DE MERE: Maternity shopping center. (Martin Blume)
NECKTIE: Arkansas funeral tie, which means a lot of folks in Arkansas only wear a tie when attending a funeral. (Wallace D. Chariton)
NONSENSE PANTY HOSE: For women who like to fool around. (Paul Zachos)
ODSBODKINS: Mismatched lingerie. (Tom Miller)
ODORALLS: Toddler overalls, for obvious reasons. (Margaret Drye)
PAT PERKINS: Brand-name rack dresses that Alice Kramer [The Honeymooners] wears in the Electronic episodes.
PEEKABOO BRA FOR DAYTIME: The equivalent of a guy’s open-to-the-navel shirt with chains. (Glamour Magazine, Jan. ’93)
RECESSIONISTA: A person who dresses stylish on a tight budget.
ROCKABILITY FASHION: Fashion following the dressing style of Elvis Presley.
SCHMATTA: Yiddish for “the textile business” or “old tattered clothing.”
SEASONLESS: It will never look good. (Paul Rudnick)
SLURPEESLOPPY: Style of attire wore to a convenience store after 11 p.m.
“SWEAT, THAT SUIT IS DOPE”: “Wow, what a nice outfit.” [slang]
TAKE A HAIKU: Walking shoes for the contemplative. (J. Bikart)
UNGEPACHKIT: Yiddish for “tastelessly, ornately overdone, clothing thrown together with no sense of style o consistency.”
UPPER-GOTCHEE: Brazziere. (Ann Marie Willer)
VAGUE: Fashion magazine for the woman who does not wish to make a statement.
VESTIGIAL: Wearing the remains of a three-piece suit.
VICTOR/VICTORIA’S SECRET: Unisex lingerie. (Paul Oldham)
YEGGS: First robbers to wear panty-hose masks. (Jean Shepherd.) ———————————————————————
MARJORIE GOTTLIEB WOLFE will buy any piece of clothing which contains one of the following labels:
“Can be washed by both men and women. #Share The Load”
“Size XL - Try on a small, come on. It’ll be funny.”