By Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Alex Trebek passed away and many are actively pursuing the vacant role: George Stephanopoulos, Ken Jennings, Alex Faust, and, jokingly, 99-year-old Betty White.
Trebek said that his replacement would probably be a bright women, with a good sense of humor. As the author of a book on Yiddish trivia, I feel qualified to apply for the position. Here’s the evidence: I am prepared to pronounce difficult English words like Isthmus, Worcestershire, and Onomatopoeia.
I have a sense of humor. My holiday greeting cards this year say, “Merry Christmas - Stay Six Feet Away” and for Hanukkah, “Oy To The World.”
I can ask the following questions to contestants in a congenial way:
- The star of the TV show, “Mad About You” said that the difference between couplehood and babyhood is in one word, “moisture.”
A. Who is Paul Reiser? - According to the Urban Dictionary, some workers are showing up late to work because they’ve stopped for coffee along the way.
A. What is “Running Latte”? - Three in 10 divorces are initiated when a couple decides to assemble a flat-pack bed together from this Swedish store. :-)
A. What is Ikea? - Arthur Naiman described an ancient miracle drug which contains equal parts of aureomycin, cocaine, interferon and TLC…”
A. What’s chicken soup? - This American multinational technology company that specializes in Internet-related services and products, was originally called BackRub?
A. What is Google? - This American poet, with his unconventional rhyming schemes, said, “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you?”
A. Who is Ogden Nash? - What American stand-up comedian (1937-2008) joked about how in America you have 23 kinds of bagels to choose from but only two political parties.
A. Who is George Carlin? - What are crisp bits of chicken skin (usually with little pieces of onion) left over from the rendering of chicken fat (schmaltz) called?
A. What is gribbenes? - “Quit squirming would ya?” Freddie [Stevens] mutters to the inactive hunk of metal before him.”
A. Who is Robot Redford? - This male comedian, who was seen in the film, “Paul Bart: Mall Cop 2,” said, “I’m not going to lie to you. My wife and I had to get married…because she got dental. I’m not stupid! At age 25, you marry for love, but at age 45 it’s about a 401(k) and health care, you have to invest. My wife comes with dental, eyeglasses and a $20 copay. I’ve been waiting for this woman for a long time!”
A. Who is Chris Monty?
If I’m not selected for “Jeopardy,” perhaps they can use someone with my talents on the comedy-drama, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” My closet contains a yellow Catskills dress and a flirty floral gown w/matching cape, similar to what Midge wore at the Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami Beach.
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Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe is a retired business teacher and the author of two books: “Yiddish for Dog & Cat Lovers” and “Are Yentas, Kibitzers, & Tummlers Weapons of Mass Instruction? Yiddish Trivia.”