by Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
The late Molly Goldberg (Gertrude Berg) wrote, “Passover for me when I was a little girl was the happiest holiday of all holidays. It meant new shoes that sang a song when I walked, a new hat and a new coat, but best of all it meant going to my grandfather and grandma’s house, where all my aunts and uncle and cousins would gather together from near and far…What happy memories…I loved the matzos, I loved the hard-boiled eggs, gefilte fish and matzo balls, and the tzimmes, and I loved my grandparents, my relatives, and my cousins…Passover, I think, will always be my happiest holiday, because no matter how old I’ll be, at Passover time I’m always the little girl at my grandma’s house.”
(Source: “The Molly Goldberg Jewish Cookbook”)
On March 27 and 28, Jews celebrate Passover. Here are some questions/topics which you might like to ask this year at your seder:
1. If President Biden and Dr. Jill Biden participated in your Seder, which symbol or ritual would you want to show them first?
2. Kamala Harris has an adorable Yiddish nickname, “Momala.” Literally, it means “little mama.” In a recent talk she said, “My family means everything to me. And I’ve had a lot of titles over my career, and certainly vice president will be great, but ‘Momala’ will always be the one that means the most.” Is “Kamala a Mamala?”
3. One of the most important moments of the Passover Seder comes with the recitation of the 10 plagues: blood, frogs, lice, flies, pestilence, boils, hail, locusts, darkness and killing of the firstborn. Should the COVID-19 be added to the list of the plagues?
4. If you could write an 11th Commandment what would it be? (Ex. “Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s Life. Wear Thy Mask.” :-)
5. Do you find this Dan Reynolds cartoon funny? (caption) “Moses and the Ten Condiments…catsup, mustard…OY! I forgot the relish!!!”
6. In 2021, who would you choose to ask the 4 Questions and why? A COVID survivor? Would you eliminate a family member who refuses to wear a mask or get a shot?
7. How do you feel about the fact that experts say communities with large Latino and Black populations tend to be more heavily impacted by the pandemic than those with white, non-Hispanic majorities?
8. If you were asked to prepare a “tongue-in-cheek” list of plagues of contemporary life, what would it contain?
9. Do you agree with Feminist Haggadahs which add plagues such as sexism and violence against women? How do you feel about the accusations against Gov. Andrew Cuomo?
10. Should your seder include the singing of the song “Gefilte Fish” [stuffed fish] by Isidor Lillian? Tell me what Jews eat and love
At another’s table, or at home.
It’s pareve, not milk, not meat, The morsel that you just must eat.
Say what every housewife’s dearest wish is,
You love it, and you know just why you do,
The Jewish food that has its own tradition,
Every shabbos, it’s what you want to chew.
Gefilte fish, gefilte fish……
11. How does NASA organize their Passover seders in space? Answer: They planet.
12. If there was an internet search engine for Passover, what would we call it? Answer: eliYahoo? :-)
13. What’s your favorite Passover film? “Shawshankbone Redemption”? :-)
14. If you were in charge of the afikomen scavenger hunt, where would you hide the matzo? (Remember: Nobody wants you to hide the matzo in the same place you did last year—under the piano seat!)
15. Elissa Strauss wrote a 2015 piece titled, “Thanks for Passover, Mom.” She questioned whether the domestic observance of Jewish holidays is still women’s work. [71% of mothers with children under the age of 18 are in the workforce.] Who should we give gratitude to this Passover? mothers, grandmothers, sisters, and aunts?
16. If you were to choose one Passover recipe from a new or old cookbook, what would it be? (Ex. The recipe for CHAROSETH, taken from the 1971 “Molly Goldberg Jewish Cookbook.”) Ingredients: 1/2 cup ground walnuts 1apple, peeled and grated 3 tablespoons sweet wine 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon (optional) Mix together and form into a mound.
17. How do you feel about the fact that the most used Yiddish word in crossword puzzles is NOSH?
18. Do you know anyone who cooks using the “shitarein method”? (This cook measures her ingredients by the pinch, the sprinkle, and handful. No recipes are followed.)
19. How do you feel about these 4 new Yiddish terms:
Cyberschmooze - To engage in gossipy conversation on the Internet.
Kvellkill - To brag so much and so often about one’s children as to completely bore the listener.
Gnoshaholic - A person who can’t stop nibbling on food for virtually the entire day.
Slapshtick - Old-fashioned and long-winded humor like the detailed jokes told at Catskills resorts? (Maddy Albert)
20. Have you ever met someone who suffers from “Patshke disorder”—a neurotic condition of culinarians who endlessly mess around in the kitchen without ever getting the meal on the table? (Maddy Albert term)
21. If a beloved family member or friend has died during this past year, how do we cope with the empty chair at the seder? Are we allowed to bring sadness to the seder? How do we find meaning in the holiday now? How can we feel the spiritual presence of those no longer with us? (Some therapists ask patients to imagine an important person sitting in the empty chair and to say all the things to the chair that they were never able to say face to face.)
22. What are you a slave to TODAY? Electronics, video games, coffee, Adrenaline, or The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel ?
23. Jeopardy! fans viewed an entire category dedicated to Yiddish. The clueless contestants were clearly “schvitzing” (sweating). The question—Yiddish for $400: Sometimes in the middle of the night I’ll head to the kitchen and do some of this, from the Yiddish for ‘snacking.” What was the correct answer? “What is noshing?”
24. When the children of Israel fled Egypt, they had to leave in the middle of the night. They couldn’t take many possessions with them. If you had to leave in the middle of the night, what possessions would you take with you?
25. When and where was the first cyber-seder broadcasted via the internet? (Temple Emanu-El in NYC, 1996.)
26. What is your favorite Jewish fortune cookie saying related to a holiday? (“You will meet a real mensch this Passover—tall, dark, and calls his mother every day.”)
27. What is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for 40 years before he got to the Promised Land. (Do NOT answer, “He refused to ask directions!”)
28. If you had to swim across the Red Sea and it could be made of anything EXCEPT water, what would it be? (He’Brew—the chosen beer—from Shmaltz, a brewing company?)
29. Where was God when 500,000 people in the U. S. died of COVID-19? (Rabbi Shmuley Boteach wrote on 3/8/2021, “It’s time that God remove this plague from the earth and return us to a world filled with laughter, love and hope.”) ————————————————————————
MARJORIE GOTTLIEB WOLFE wishes everyone a “Zisen Pesach.”
