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P.S. A Column On Things

BY PAUL E. SCHINDLER, JR. I am from Portland, Oregon, Beaumont '66, Benson High '70, MIT '74. Some things are impossible to know, but it is impossible to know these things.

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Paul Makes No. 1 on Top 5 (precis)

I don’t have all my No. 1s by far, but there’s a good sample here. I list the title and my No. 1 submission. To see the whole list, click on the title.

 

The Top 20 Least Impressive Mafia Nicknames
The list for June 20, 1996
1        Vinny "The Cosmotologist" Scandaliotta
CREDITS
Selected from 163 submissions by 45 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 1
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]


The Top 18 Signs Your Mechanic Is Losing It
July 13, 1994.
1> Won't stop humming "The Wheels on the Bus Go 'Round And Round."
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 1994, 2005 by Chris White ]
==================
Selected from 135 submissions by 44 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
-------------------------------------
Paul E. Schindler Jr., Orinda, CA - 1

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]


The Top 15 Movie Quotes We’d Like to See
(Part II)
1        “Oh, my God! They killed Freddy! The bastards.”

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]

CREDITS
Selected from 131 submissions from 44 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 1 (4th #1)

The Top 16 Excuses Given for Corporate Layoffs
Nov. 28. 2001:

1> "Look, it was either you or someone we like."
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]
===============================
Selected from 104 submissions from 39 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
------------------------------------------
Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 1 (9th #1)

 Top 15 Signs You're At a Dog Brothel
March 31, 2003
A double-header, including my 12th number one. Some of the entries on this list were a bit over the top, so I'm just giving you the top and the bottom.
March 25, 2003
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
A German artist has applied for a license to open a brothel in Berlin for sexually frustrated dogs. The establishment would offer patrons a variety of carefully vetted "employees" of both sexes, rooms for private encounters and even a "bar" where customers could sniff out their preferred partners.
2> Your date has quite a nice pair. Heck, she has several nice pairs.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign You're at a Dog Brothel...
1> More tail than you can shake a stick at. In fact, shaking a stick is a bad idea.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
========================
Selected from 93 submissions from 35 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
----------------------------------
Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 1, 2 (12th #1)
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 3
Chun Ho, Honolulu, HI -- 3

The Top 13 Differences if Animals Played Professional Sports
Monday August 16, 1999
13> Team of trainers required to get Charlie Centipede's ankles taped by game time.
12> Dennis Rodman FINALLY fits in.
11> Martina Hingis no longer the only bitch on the pro tennis tour.
10> Only jackasses allowed in professional wrestli... er, never mind.
9> New comedy bit: "What's on first?"
8> Fido's big "touchdown dance" consists of trying in vain to catch his tail.
7> Giraffe outfielders put a serious dent in Mark McGwire's home run production.
6> Mike Tyson put to sleep for biting.
5> No one has yet managed to tackle the team's new running back, Paul Porcupine.
4> Sports bras now available with 8 cups.
3> The Chicago Bears have to forfeit second half of the season when the entire team goes into hibernation.
2> Marge Schott? Still a cow.

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Difference if Animals Played Professional Sports...

1> Only one camera required to cover the hamster marathon.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]
-------------------
Selected from 123 submissions from 48 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors include:
-------------------
Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 1 (7th #1)

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Paul on the Top 5 List

  • Made No. 1 on the Top5
  • Made The Top 5
  • Paul on the Top 5 List
    I appeared frequently on the now-defunct collective humor site Top5. I have gathered my contributions in two groups: When I made No. 1 on the Top5 list and when I just made the Top5 List.

Love Songs

  • Paul Schindler Love Songs
    Check out my growing list of love songs!

Paul Schindler On TV

  • Paul Schindler on TV
    Starting with

    my 1972 appearance on WBZ-TV's public access show.

    and my 1974 appearance on WGBH (explaining the Alcator nuclear reactor),

    I've been on local and national TV numerous times, mostly as a game show contestant (I appeared on the game shows Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy, Scrabble , Win Ben Stein's Money and Merv Griffin's Crosswords) and as an author.
    Video of my game show appearances
    Pictures of my game show appearances Here are my journal entries for three of my game show appearances:
    Wheel of Fortune,
    Jeopardy,
    Merv Griffin's Crosswords

    Video highlights of my game show appearances

    Paul On The Computer Chronicles

    I was the weekly software reviewer for the late PBS program The Computer Chronicles (1984-1992), as well as a commentator (1987-88) and a regular on what was the Christmas show and became the Annual Buyers Guide show (1985-1999). The show went out of production during its 20th year, in December, 2002. 

    Paul Schindler Pans Mac
    Supercut of my chronicle reviews
    Software Piracy

Damn Shame

  • Stephen Michael Schindler, RIP March 8, 1954-May 21, 2020
    My brother's obituary

Stories of a Young Journalist

  • Stories of Journalism from a Young Journalist
    These are stories from early in my career

Recent Posts

  • Start of October 2 Column. More or Less Continuous News Service since 1998
  • What I Need To Give Up
  • Grandkids-Palooza
  • Screed: Self-Made Person
  • This and That
  • Right Column Redux: Norm Sandler
  • Grammar Gripes From Geezers
  • End of October 2 Column (No. 898)
  • Start of September 25 Column. More or Less Continuous News Service since 1998
  • Music Reminder/Heads Up

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Archives

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Blogrolling

  • Outboard Sagas: Disaffected geezer tells about his life
    Steve. this blog's only non-aquaintance reader, has started an excellently written blog.
  • Robert Violino's Embracing Gratitude
    A long-ago CMP colleague of mine is writing a most-excellent gratitude blog. Have a look.
  • Heather Cox Richardson: Letters from an American
    An historian offers a calm daily look at the news.
  • Brendan Leonard: Semi-Rad
    A runner/travel writer's consistently brilliant three-dot blog with funny artwork
  • Richard C. Gross at Counterpunch
    Lucid commentary from a former UPI colleague
  • Phil Albinus
    The personal, professional and political musings of my friend and former colleague of the same name
  • David Strom's Web Informant
    David Strom offers IT industry news and analysis.

Favorite Movies

  • My all-time favorite movie:
    Groundhog Day. I have created a fan site that is universally acknowledged to be the best on the Internet dedicated to this work of art.

    All the rest of my favorite movies (Deadline USA, The Paper, CitizenKane) are Journalism movies.

Paul's Poetry Corner

  • Index of Poems

Paul's Reading Here

  • My Reading List
    As Paul's book list has grown, he has moved it

Statcounter

  • Statcounter
    NO BUTTON

Counter

  • You are visitor number

    website statistics

    since Oct. 16, 1998.


Paul's Permanent Content

  • Worst Review Ever
    Worst Review Ever

    Clive Barnes reviewed Drat in The New York Times. You have to read it to believe it.

  • East Side Boy
    East Side Boy

    A White Guy Rap about living in NE Portland

  • Dormphone Days

    Dormphone Days
    I worked at the MIT’s internal telephone system; these are my stories.

  • Jon Carroll Cat Columns

    Jon Carroll Cat Columns
    Jon Carroll, who succeeded Charles McCabe in 1982, wrote the world's best personal column for 32 years. He wrote many columns about his cats. I have compiled a listing.

  • Techweb Audio
    Techweb was one of several attempts by CMP Media to create a successful web site. Before it failed, I was the audio guy.

    Techweb Profiles

    Byte Week in Review

    =====================================

  • Paul on the Top Five List

    Paul on the Top5 List

  • Rest In Peace

    Richard Parker Tribute

    Edwin Diamond: An Appreciation

    Edwin Diamond at INS

    Ross Snyder Valedictory

    Norman D. Sandler Tribute

  • Elsewhere at Schindler.org

    Paul's Prairie Home Companion Script

    Paul's Lo-Cal Peanut Buttter Substitute

    Paul on Merv Griffin's Crosswords

    Paul on Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune

    PS...ACOT BACK ISSUE archives

    Journalism Movies

    Journalism Quotes

    You COULD Pay For This Column

    Journalism Books

    Larry King: Letters From Europe

    Kevin Sullivan on Teaching

    My Prarie Home Companion Script

    Groundhog Day: Best Film Ever

    Women in Journalism Movies

    Larry King: British Journalists

    Paul's Tales of Teaching

    Sam Patch, The Greatest Story Ever Told So Far

    The New Eugene Oregon Show

    Audio Editing Hacks

    Fun with electronic editing. At WTBS, these were called hacks. Back in the 70s they were done with spliced magnetic tape. Now they can be done with electrons.

    Alphabet Medley

    Frank Sinatra/Ella Fitzgerald Duet: I've Got A Crush on You

    Alphabet Song from single sung syllables

    Ian Shoales: The Internet Years

    Schindler Jingle/Dream of a Lifetime

    Parodies By Paul... and Robert

    Yes, I am the Paul Schindler who predicted, in 1985, when the Macintosh was a year old, that it wouldn't be a success in business. I stand by that opinion. You can see Paul Schindler Pans Mac .

    I did an audio summary of my career in radio and on podcasts: 35 Years Before The Mic .

    I won Karl Kassel's voice for my answering machine because I won the listener limerick challenge on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me .

    I, Paul E. Schindler, Jr., am driving my stake in the ground right here. I invented the podcast in March 2000 when I worked at Byte.com for CMP Media.

    Index of Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe appearances in PSACOT .

    See how I looked in a Computer Systems News house ad in 1979

    Paul Schindler Quote Page .

    Paul Schindler Spotify Page .

    Paul Schindler iTunes Page .

    Pages

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